Right Here Waiting

I hate to wait. For someone. For something. For whatever! It doesn’t really matter. I just hate to wait.

I went on a half day from work again today. I did that actually for several reasons. First, I'm really, really bored. Second, I felt so tired and sleepy. Third, my eyes hurt because of my contact lenses. Fourth, my “uselessness” as an employee was being over-emphasized the longer I stayed in the office. Fifth, my manager might catch me playing computer games. Sixth, I just wanted go home!!!

I don’t know. It might be just one of those days when you feel like doing nothing. Or one of those days you wanted to do so much and yet end up doing nothing. The only thing I’m sure of is that this really sucks! It feels like being stuck in a rut—the rut being so damned dark and irritatingly quiet. Nevertheless, there’s no choice but to stay in that rut and patiently wait for a door to be miraculously opened.

I don’t know with you, but that is totally not me. Waiting is one of the worst things you could ask me to do. More so, waiting for something without an assurance of happening. Funny though, ‘coz contrary to this attitude, I have waited all my life. For what? For who? I don’t have a clue. But here I am. Still waiting despite all circumstances.

I’m feeling all restless. I’m starting to get frustrated all over again. More of these negativity, I’ll be pushed back to depression.

Perhaps I just need something new to happen to my life. I need to do something or be somewhere different. I need this, not just want. Maybe after that, I could re-focus myself and my set my priorities straight.

Oh, shucks! Who the hell am I kidding?!

Sigh…

I guess there’s nothing left to do but wait… For what? For who? I don’t know. I’m too bored to figure that out now…